I’m sure you’ve seen by now that we are having a little boy! Colton Mikul Berry will be gracing us with his presence in November (hopefully not Dec!)
If I’m being honest, we both were pretty sure it was a girl so it took a little adjusting to the idea of a boy when we found out. We left our anatomy scan excited and beaming, we had confirmation that the baby was all good in there and there was still a strong little heart beating and he was showing off his spine to the tech so she just couldn’t see all the details of his heart but all in all baby was doing okay and that was a huge relief (thanks to anxiety making us both worry constantly). When we got home we unfolded that little piece of paper and I think we both sunk a little at our guts being totally wrong about baby berry.
It took some time for me to not feel guilty for being a little disappointed. Andrew is just built to have a daughter, those who know him well enough know he would be amazing no matter what but this man having a little girl just seems so right. We had pictured everything a little differently so it’s not like we weren’t happy but like I had said, we took a little time to adjust. I felt bad that he wasn’t getting his little girl right away, as much as I know I can’t control it, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t sad for him.
Before we got together I always wanted to be a boy mom first. I love the idea of giving our second a big brother because truth be told, I always wanted one that I never got. I love kids and I’m so lucky that friends have had both boys and girls for me to spend time with but I just feel like I am built to be a boy mom, at least for now. I’m in a good place about it all, I’m more excited than anxious right now which is a nice change. It seems to be setting in more and more now that he has an identity that I just am so proud of.
Colton was a name we decided on before we tried to conceive. Boys names came easier to list for us but it also meant we had to narrow it down but Colton stuck pretty fast. Mikul is after my dad; my not biological but everywhere that it counts dad. He is an incredible man who Andrew and I both look up to so much. To give so much love to an older child that isn’t yours is respectable in itself but him as a friend, a companion to my mom and a father figure for Andrew, he was the perfect choice to honour because of who he is as a man and he embodies so much of who I hope our son will be. We have always enunciated his name with a strong emphasis on the K sound so when we would write his name out in text or on birthday cards or whatever it was written as Mikul, so naturally when we decided on his name being included in the baby’s name it made sense to spell it the way that would honour our Mikul and no one else.
We were able to announce the name and the gender to a small group of loved ones this past weekend and both were so well received which was another weight off. It has been exciting to switch from “what are you” to “who will you be?” in how I think about him being here and our future little dude with ‘tude.