Well from what I know, I’m still growing a human!

My ultrasound will be the week of April 24th so still some time to wait to hear a heartbeat from Squish. Tomorrow I will be 6 weeks.

Still no nausea or really any symptoms that are overly unpleasant other than the exhaustion. No cravings or food aversions, just lots of naps and some bloating.

So let’s talk body positivity in this phase shall we?

You know what’s coming this summer? I am gonna gain weight! I, for the first time in a long time, am not at all afraid of those pounds going up. I have stabilized my eating habits, I have been binge free since working with Kailee at the beginning of March HUZZAH! I am exercising consistently (other than when exhaustion wins) and I am consistently making good meal and snack choices because I am utilizing the proper tools for success. I am beating my binge eating, and it feels damn good.

I am in a place where I am so happy that this pregnancy is happening now. It feels like the stars aligned for us. Since working with Kailee I lost almost 6lbs and then I found out I was growing a teeny bopper. So far still none of that weight has come back because of my healthy choices (and it being so early) and as the weather keeps warming up, the more active I’ll be able to be.

We love hiking and going to the beach with Gimli. I love my driveway workouts and spending more time outside than on my butt so as it warms and baby grows I am able to keep the most active lifestyle possible so like I said, the timing feels perfect.

This is not to say I don’t have my fears, I mean, first pregnancy I would be crazy to have zero worries. It is just an amazing feeling to realize that my weight and body image isn’t even really playing a role in my fears when months ago it was my main source of anxiety.

Women have so much pressure put on them to look a certain way, even during pregnancy and to have that lifted from my shoulders for the right reasons is beautiful. I guess I should explain that.

Women are “meant” to grow people. Women are also expected to glow and look radiant and dress comfortably but cute, eat for two but stay slim, etc. We as a sex are expected to fill certain standards and it gives us so much anxiety. People cram down our throats that celebs sometimes only gain 15-20lbs throughout a pregnancy and we assume we need to starve ourselves and do the same. Having a healthy pregnancy is not the most ridiculous notion but believing that every woman is capable of that is bullshit. Gaining weight during pregnancy is inevitable, although 70lbs is often unhealthy and not ideal, who is to say that bed rest and certain symptoms don’t affect women to contribute to that? Have you ever heard of HG, women who are SO sick they LOSE weight while pregnant? Some women run, some women lift, some women do nothing but chase their toddler and live their lives. Some women can hardly keep down crackers for 9 months. They’re all doing it right. They are doing what they can manage to give birth to the healthiest baby they can create.

I also hate to break it to so many people, but, most of you aren’t doctors and should let the doctors give the medical advice only when needed. So if you see a fit pregnant woman being a bad ass and deadlifting on Instagram, you really don’t need to chime in and tell her however you think it’s bad for her baby. If you decide you think someone is eating too much, please feel free to shut up and make zero comments about it. I am so lucky I have not experienced any of this (yet) but I have seen it happen all too often and although the women empowering women movement seems to be growing. there is still so much negativity projected onto women from other judgemental women.

So how do we avoid all these pressurized standards and have a happy, as healthy as possible pregnancy? Do what feels good and listen to your doctor or midwife and most of all listen to your body. Ask for help when you need it. Try to stick to the increased calorie guidelines but don’t starve yourself to hit them, don’t make minimal weight gain your main priority while trying to be a safe and healthy home for your future fart machine. Let yourself relax, take time to rest, talk to people who make you feel good and encouraged and ignore all the really terrible pregnancy advice out there. Don’t do things just because someone suggested it, look into things, be thorough in research but also really try to not stress yourself out. Be a strong and bad ass advocate for yourself and your baby!

Breathe; to any women out there reading this, you are amazing.

Kids, no kids, sick or healthy, confident or not, you are a rock star. I sincerely hope everyone has another woman in their life to make them feel like a superhero.

Thanks for checking out my incredibly scattered thoughts tonight.