Today I started my shift at the gym browsing through various Body Positive blogs and related tags to find new inspirations and to give me some motivation when I need it most.

Today I felt like I needed some. As I read through uplifting “bopo” posts I realize that people who come across me must see what I am trying to be and do as a walking contradiction. When you think of a Personal Trainer you often think of someone who is in exceptional shape who will assist you with your weight loss goals and push you until you cry some days. Sure, I can do that, but I really want people to realize why I am doing this and what this new mindset means for my future.

I have been in exceptional shape, I have been in horrible shape.. now I am just kind of a lumpy somewhat strong shape; and I am learning to be happy with that. I don’t need to be ripped to be educated and it has taken me a lengthy amount of time to embrace/realize this fact. I continuously delayed studying for my PT Certification purely because I had gained weight and felt like I wasn’t capable of training if I didn’t “look the part.”

I am at a place where sure, my body makes me uncomfortable sometimes, I think that takes a lot of work to entirely disappear but having some good days is worlds better than having none. I enjoy working out but I also enjoy it a lot more when I don’t feel like I HAVE to be doing it. I also enjoy my husband baking for me and making pasta, it’s something I just figure out so I can have both.

So by the sounds of it I wouldn’t be an exceptional personal trainer for someone looking to lose weight right? Wrong, in my opinion. I want to provide a safe and comfortable environment for beginners but also possess the knowledge and motivation for those who are experienced that want to really push to new levels. I am in this not because of money or because people are always trying to be thin, I want to be a light in what can be a scary world to step into. I want to help people find that they are worthy at their weight but I also want to help them enjoy exercise and fitness. I want to be a coach of sorts, I want to be encouraging and motivating and knowledgeable but not intimidating. When I ate poorly or gained a little weight I avoided my trainer out of shame that he didn’t force on me in any way, I want to help people like me that should worry more about enjoying life than calories in and out.

Most of all I would like PY Fitness to grow into something recognizable for doing good things within the community, speaking to kids about self-love, having different approaches to group fitness and create a positive vibe in everything I do. I also would like to mention that I would love to work on male self love in the future as well, it isn’t just us that struggle ladies! I want to bust through that glass ceiling, I want to be different and do some good.

My advice for myself constantly is to remember why I am doing this, I left an incredibly stable job for this pursuit and things don’t happen overnight. Dreams take time to come to life but they won’t go anywhere if I don’t chase them.