Hey, it’s been a while.
Andrew and I went on our placeholder honeymoon to Disney World a couple of weeks ago and I finally have my thoughts together enough to write a blog.
I figure that the topic of flaws is a pretty loaded topic to go on but after experiencing a fair amount of body struggle in Florida it seems like I have the most ammo for this.
When you travel anywhere of course there will always be all kinds of bodies, backgrounds, skin colours, accents, etc but the variety in somewhere as busy as Disney World is astounding. It made for a lot of observing and a lot of compliments to my husband about people but I of course was too intimidated to say to people directly. The water park day we had was a tough one for me to start out, some days I just feel like I’m not in the right skin and I want to hide away until i fix that feeling. I was worried i would spend my entire day criticizing myself and watching others criticize me to each other. Oh how wrong I was. Do you know how little people care about my stretch marks when we are in a tidal wave pool? Do you know how much people don’t give a shit about my cellulite while they watch their kids go down water slides? How self involved am I to think that all people around me would care about is if I jiggle, it’s Disney COME ON..
Now I’ve talked about self-love being hard, and I think although people make progress I don’t know if anyone truly never has a bad day or hell even a bad week. When I look back on pictures from 3 years ago I can’t help but wonder if I would be happier now at that size, then I remember how much I love not revolving my life around how much protein i’ve had in a day and how many calories did I burn that workout. I want to be healthy don’t get me wrong, I benched 100lbs yesterday (wahoo!) so clearly I also want to be strong but the one thing i don’t want to be is miserable and scared to live my life because of how some dicks in society have made us think about ourselves.
I follow a lot of body positive accounts and it helps so often to read their uplifting messages and see their pictures and their vulnerability and as I contemplated this blog today I realized that although I have been vulnerable with my words and have talked about how I feel about my body I haven’t truly been vulerable in showing off my own self defined flawed body to go along with what I’m saying.
If I am to believe what we are made to believe about beauty standards, I am incredbily flawed. I have cellulite, stretch marks, big thighs, a belly, too much chin and big ears. You know what I also have? my health, bright blue eyes, a hard-working body, strong muscles and a personality that I’m proud of. When you meet someone are they automatically a terrible person because they have a little extra weight or are losing some of their hair? That’s a ridiculous notion right? Well then why do we assume it’s how people will perceive us?
I am just as worthy at 180lbs, 250lbs or 125lbs. I’m still snarky, I’m still educated and I’m still extremely loved.
Your nose isn’t too big for your face, you don’t need all that makeup if you don’t want to wear it, you don’t need to follow eyebrow trends if you don’t want to and you don’t need to feel guilty about skipping the gym for a girls pizza night because you just dumped your shitty ex.
We find it so easy to compliment our loved ones, take some time to compliment yourself. Maybe right now you don’t love everything but if you begin to appreciate your body and what it allows you to do in this world, you may just defeat yourself and enjoy your life.
One of my favourite body positive people to follow and relate to, find her on IG (omgkenzieee) but also watch this video: